Days have been really torturing – assignmentssss, part-time teaching (definitely not a pleasant class to teach), job hunting (which also means uncertainty), financial dependence and the always unstable state of mind. There are times I couldn’t help thinking if I have made the right decision – a totally new path in my career which incurs both money and time. Most importantly, this shift almost means a big block in my U-turn. I know I shouldn’t think this way, as that was what I chose by myself, what I fought for with all my effort.
However, life is somehow so hectic and future is so uncertain that I simply can’t help thinking like that. I remember the source of my wisdom to make that big decision was from God. That was He guiding me through all the way to what I am now. Yet I feel really ashamed that I don’t feel the strength to carry on, and that I start to question myself and Him.
No one said it was easy, but You told me I could do it.
But I literally need the strength, wisdom and confidence to get through the hardship, and to carry on…and I really wanna regain the determination and courage once I held really tight.
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